How many times do you find yourself wondering what your partner is really thinking about? Do you find yourself second guessing where he or she is coming from or jumping to conclusions instead?
You will usually find that if you are spending much time musing over these sorts of questions you are in actual fact probably not listening to what the other person is saying. You probably think that you are listening but you will be doing so without the benefit of an open mind.
Depending upon your general temperament and nature you are likely to make one of two categories of assumption; you will hear what you want to hear or you will hear what you don't want to hear. In both cases you may not be truly listening as your own perceptions are based more upon your own fears or dreams than on what is really being said or conveyed through body language and tonality.
To be able to fully appreciate and understand the communication being made by another you have to first quieten your own mind and myriad thoughts; you need to detach yourself emotionally from both fears and dreams and take a step back so that you can see and hear more clearly.
The principle to remember is that if you keep wondering what the hell someone is thinking this is because you are not really looking and listening. People do what they want to do. People do "give the game away" in both their speech and body language, even when they are attempting to hide something from you (unless they are an expert deceiver of course).
If you really want to know what someone is thinking you have to learn to step back from your emotions and really watch and really listen. You will be amazed by the quantity of clear information which is conveyed to you when you do just this. If you focus on really listening you will hear a whole lot more than before; if you focus on really seeing you will see a great deal more as well.
This is a basic aspect of how our minds work. In reality you will already know this truth. You know how when you want a new car and you like the idea of a mini, for example, you will notice more minis on the road. If you like a particular breed of dog, you will notice those dogs more than others.
You instinctively look "more alertly" for the things which you like, expect or fear. The greater the emotional attachment in your mind, the greater you will be disposed to seeing whatever it is. Once you are aware of this natural instinct you can make a conscious decision to compensate for it. You can choose to take a step back and detach yourself emotionally from the situation or circumstances. Hypnosis is a great help in this aim.
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